Sex is so weird like hey I love you let me stick my hard extra limb into your tiny hole and then slam it into you repeatedly because I love you
bepeu: what i learned in high school you can pass some classes by being friends with the teacher there is more than one kind of cool if you write just random things on some homework then you may still get some point but the teacher will pull you aside because she is worried about you not all food is edible who cares
dankestrnemes: do animals think in english or in the sounds they make
theyellovvbrickroad: “f word” the police
tiny-airman: no youre
yugoslavic: i had no idea this site cost 1.1 billion i bet its because of my blog
thatfunnyblog: the first few months of my blog never happened what are you talking about
yongmuney: would you like some lmaonaise with that swagwich
spadesslick: pimposaur: reasons not to kill yourself chicken tender the billionth number of pi is 9 it’s not gay if it’s on the moon sponges feel cool highdeas.com joe biden the letter Q dirt Some of these are legitimately calming.
Anonymous asked: One time I was so poor I got in the newspaper
sext: fist me like u tryna get the last couple pringles
fairy0nacidd: clumsy-words: fairy0nacidd: So happy that I came home to a million fucking couples… Omg ok I read this wrong and imagined you literally coming home and witnessing a massive orgie in your kitchen or something omfg I don’t know if that would be great or terrifying.
beyonces: send me unpopular opinions and i will reply with “agree” or “disagree”
killerfromthedeep: leaningnow-intofebreeze: peepingtomdelonge: imagine if your kid wanted to have a playdate with someone they met at school and the parents wanted to meet you first and when they came over one of your favorite band members got out of the car like what would you do have a playdate of my own
saying “how can you be sad when people have it so much worse than you” is as ridiculous as “how can you be happy when people have it so much better than you”
tardisity: The oldest person alive was born on April 19, 1897, meaning that April 18th, 1897 was approximately the last time the Earth was inhabited by an entirely different set of people and if you don’t think that’s the realist shit ever then you can get right on outta town.
deadlyjohnson: FACTS ABOUT THINGS: TUMBLR WAS GETTING TOO EXPENSIVE. THEIR OPTIONS WERE TO EITHER SELL IT OR SHUT IT DOWN. YAHOO SAYS THEY’RE GOING TO LET IT RUN AS AN INDEPENDENT BUSINESS. IN THEORY, NOTHING WILL CHANGE EXCEPT FOR WHO’S LEGALLY OWNING IT. NOW EVERYONE CALM DOWN.
phione: if i pause my music to listen to your audio post it better be fucking good
claydols: my eyes change colour depending on my swag levels. they are the darkest brown when my swag levels are at a maximum. i have never seen them change
me to boys my age: sorry, ur too young
luphphy: caraknightley: i hate when people touch me and then when i tell them not to touch me they get rude or even worse when they think you’re joking and keep touching you for fun
genocidercyo: clockey: you’re the window to my wall you’re the sweat that drips down my balls
whatsacanada: crona-makenshi-1994: whatsacanada: “what’s wrong with hipsters?” omfg theyre australian O.O….i don’t want to live in this country anymore * x9999 facepalm combo* can you *x9999 facepalm combo* off my post
whiskey-memories: bras are so expensive like i didn’t choose the boob life the boob life chose me
peetapockets: I wonder how many people on here have heard of me. like have seen my url and thought, oh i’ve heard of her.
teapayne: I’ve been 18+ since I was 12
oomshi: give me an L!! give me an A!! give me an M!! give me an E!! WHAT DOES THAT SPELL???/ your blog
dampsandwich: the golden rule: never text someone first
richwhitelesbian: we need some new and more powerful swears
annoyingtwink: yahoo yaho aho ho how how a how ab how abo how abou how about how about n how about no